Poop Is Brown

She can kill with a file
She can wound with a knife
She can ruin your date with her swollen eye sty
And she always reveals what you don’t want to see
She’s dressed like a child
But she’s always a hooker to me

She can take you to alleys
She can fake it to please you
She won’t ask for the truth
‘Cause she don’t want to hear you
And she’ll take what you give her as long as you pay
Hide your wallet she’s a thief
But she’s always a hooker to me

Oh, she can’t care for herself
She can’t turn down the pipe
Or hide her pigeon-toed limp
Oh, and she’ll always give out
And she has to go down
She can’t just change her pimp

She will promise you more
Than a stewardess from Sweden
Then she’ll knowingly gut you
And laugh while you’re seizing
But she’ll bring out the best
Of the meth you have seen
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she’s always a hooker to me

She’s legally blind
And she’ll possibly drool
When she does you she wheezes
But it’s totally cool
She’s been previously convicted
Check out her goatee
And the far as you knew
She threw needles at you
But she’s always a hooker to me

Courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Click to “embiggen”

The discovery of a man with microphallus has this building manager & local Torontonian (Torontoins, Torontoists, Torontians?) searching for the ninja peer in the above photo…read more about it here.

I know this really isn’t the platform for political commentary, but this is the best soapbox I could find.  Unless you have been living under a rock, you must have heard about the terrorist the Scottish government decided to release 7 years into a 27 year minimum sentence for “compassionate” reasons.  The poor little terrorist has prostate cancer, boo-hoo-hoo.  I mean, seriously, what the fuck were they thinking?  Let’s show some compassion for this despicable piece of shit that murdered 270 people?  What is wrong with you pacifist bitchass Europeans?  Do you not have any value for human life?

And, on top of letting go of someone who should have been getting his malignant colon sodomized daily for another couple decades, Libya treats the motherfucker like a returning hero with fucking cheering crowds.

“It is a matter of great regret that Mr. al Megrahi was received in such an inappropriate manner,”

MacAskill told an emergency session of the Scottish parliament.  MacAskill, who said he would cooperate with any inquiry into his decision, acknowledged widespread condemnation of the terrorist’s release, saying this was beyond his jurisdiction.

“There remain concerns to some on the wider issues of the Lockerbie tragedy,” he said. “This is a global issue.”

Yes, you fucking tool, this IS a global issue, but the plane blew up in Scotland, and even killed 11 of Scotland’s own people on the ground when it crashed.  So we, “the globe”, figured you kilt wearing sheep-fuckers were good enough to handle point on this one and dish out some justice.  Boy were we wrong.  When you have people like Kenny MacAskill sucking terrorist cock you aren’t going to be very good at punishing terrorists.  Oh and last time I checked Kenny, the reason you guys had him imprisoned was because the shit happened in your “jurisdiction”, you fucking pussy.

What went through MacAskill’s head when he was deliberating this decision?  I guess sheep-fucking can be distracting because his excuses don’t even make any fucking sense.

What message does this send terrorists?  I guess it tells them that if they want to kill people and cause mayhem they should go do it in Scotland.  Hopefully Kenny gets some of that firsthand, maybe that will open his sheep ejaculate encrusted eyes.

Sadly we’re trapped on the same planet as these functionally retarded assclowns. There’s a reason England has never let you have your own sovereign government. It would be like letting Lindsay Lohan babysit a pharmacy. A bad idea is a bad idea. Personally I call for a boycott of all things Scottish. Not like they’ve really contributed a dimes worth of use to this planet in the first place. But for anyone still buying haggis as a gag (literally) gift or still searching for that bath toy they’ve been pushing as a cryptozoological certainty please remember:

Who’s there? Drunk driver in a tree. Drunk driver in a tree who?