Poop Is Brown

Someone sent this crazy shit to me & I’ve got to say whoever created it must have been following me as a kid. Everything from every movie that ever made you want to pee you pants…#1 is TOTALLY on spot!!
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Saw this great t-shirt on Threadless.com that spoils a ton of surprise(ish) endings…killed a few for me, oh well:

Took this test to see what kind of American accent I have. These were the results:

Folks, this scares the bejesus out of me. According to Gallup Poll® more Americans accept theory of creationism than evolution. I have no issue with organized religion generally, however when an ENTIRE COUNTRY of 200 million+ people (who are supposedly among the best educated, according to us anyway) can blatantly disregard science, it kinda freaks me out. It translates into your office being 1/2 & 1/2 on whether dinosaurs really existed. I’ll put it out there right now, I believe in God & was brought up with Judeo-Christian values, but I most certainly do not believe that Earth was created 10,000 years ago & that the whole thing was supernatural & magical. Seriously?! Come on people. I can go even so far as to accept that God started the whole process, but the “theory” of Creationism basically assumes that everything in the Bible is true & should be taken at face value. Well, for that, I should definitely have slaves, never wear clothing made of more than one type of fabric, never cut my hair or shave, be able to stone to death anyone who doesn’t believe in God, I should think it’s totally cool to have sex with your father (think Lot’s daughters), & be able to (with out fear of retribution now or in the afterlife) kill my spouse if I’m cheated on. On that last one, no I’m not condoning adultery, it’s just the point that we’ve (I had hoped) come a bit beyond certain parts of the Bible and accepted them instead as parable, lessons to be learned, a sort of moral compass. And when I say those types of things mentioned in the Bible, religious people from across the map will jump out & explain why we don’t believe in (or at least act on) these outdated passages. But in the same breath, they’ll defend the idea that everything was created in 6 days, that we are the only life in existence, and that we are the center of the universe. And yet, these are the same people who spew all sorts of crazy rhetoric about Muslims believing “fundamentally” in their religion (we’ll save that little gem of a web discussion for another day boys & girls—for now “Osama = Needs to die” & “Middle East = not my #1 tourist destination right now”). I don’t know folks. God’s an awesome dude, but I think even He’s shaking his head on this one.

OK, well, not really, but for bad humor Chuck Norris “facts” have got to be the best creation G-d has given to man. Today in World Net Daily Chuck Norris (yes they say it’s the man himself) discussed his thoughts on how life would change in the good ‘ol U S of A if he were elected president. Some of his more brilliant ideas were:

Require members of Congress to work out on the Total Gym 15 minutes each day – or else they can’t vote on anything.

Turn the Rose Garden into a new fighting ring for the World Combat League, in which liberals and conservatives will fight for legislative leadership and priority.

Give a tax credit to anyone naming their children Walker or Texas Ranger.

Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet.

The article goes into MANY more that are too funny to miss.
Please check it out here & let me know.

I’ve seen most of the entries on this site before (& yes they are still funny) but the 2 essays here are hysterical! This guy has taken being a smart ass and brought it to the “HNL”! (Hole Nuba Nebel for those of you who suck & don’t watch Mad TV). Anyway, read these & make sure you check out this site where you can find the rest:
Great Answers

Yummy…Ice Cream in a Bag”

So I figured I’d enter the wide world of stock trading and possibly make a few bucks based on risk. Hey, it works in Vegas, right? So after searching around online for a good do-it-yourself stock-trading site (not like I know what I’m doing or how to do it myself), I go with one and start to register. After said company knows what I do, where I work and how many children I want, they have me agree to all these crazy contracts, which is fine because I am giving them my money to make more, hopefully. Then comes the catch, after all these agreements and such, they now want two grand of my money for investing! Two grand, that’s $2,000. If I had that kinda money, I wouldn’t be looking online for a cheap do-it-yourself trader and I’d be hiring a financial advisor to warn me not to do things like this.

I remember back when Even Stevens was on the air and a young Shia LaBeouf appeared on my screen. He was funny and cute, like most child stars, but I wondered if he would make it through puberty. The “Savage Syndrome,” as I like to call it, happens to many child stars, where just like the Savage brothers of Wonder Years and Boy Meets World fame, take on an entirely new, and not attractive, form upon entering adulthood.

So I watched little Shia progress, and he made it through unscathed. (The same can’t be said for Haley Joel Osment.) He’s even made it to the big time, now starring in hits like Disturbia, Transformers and the newest Indiana Jones installment. However, with this newfound success should come a personal stylist. And it’s not the clothes. It’s the creepy pervo mustache and the matching slicked back hair. Who told you to do this, Shia? It looks awful. If your hair can look good in your movies, let it look good in real life. You’re in Hollywood, brotha. Act like it. This isn’t Canada.

So my favorite show of all time has been canceled. Seven years of watching and waiting for the happy ending has left me heartbroken and destroyed over what I was actually left with. I remember when the show’s creator, writer and producer, Amy Sherman-Palladino, left last season because she was overworked. In an interview she had said she always knew what the final four episodes would consist of. She never said what they were, and now I am left to wonder. Now, as Rory has said “No” to Logan and the avocado tree in California and I am left in my home sick to my stomach because that’s not the way it’s supposed to end. It’s not supposed to end with Rory going to Iowa. That just sucks. Who ends a show that way? It had come so far, so wonderfully far, all to spit in my face. See if I’ll invest that many years in another show again.

I probably will if it’s just as good, but it had better have a good ending.