Poop Is Brown

The discovery of a man with microphallus has this building manager & local Torontonian (Torontoins, Torontoists, Torontians?) searching for the ninja peer in the above photo…read more about it here.

Who’s there? Drunk driver in a tree. Drunk driver in a tree who?

There’s actually a 2 minute & 12 second video that goes with this “news” story.

This poor little kitten is doing the thousand yard stare after spending a full cycle in a washing machine. With temp set to 86° F he was found unconscious & hypothermic. The article states, “Toby has now recovered, with no long-term ill-effects” but those far-away eyes tell a different story. Now go hug your kitty.

A Mitsubishi dealership in New Zealand has thought of a clever cockamamie idea to sell cars. Apparently the demand for farm animals is such that marketers dreamed up the scheme to hock a free goat with the purchase of every Triton ute between now & August. Really? A goat?!? Were these the same people who came up with Shimmer?(starts @ 1:30)

Portland, Oregon’s first openly gay mayor Sam Adams is so popular that they’re making t-shirts about him. Well, he’s not so much popular for being gay…or even mayor. Actually Sam Adams, the 45-year-old Democrat who is the subject of the shirts, is actually gaining notoriety for banging his 18 year old intern.

Side bar: interns have got to get the most tail of any “profession”. When was the last time you heard about a government office aide that wasn’t getting boned by the officer in chief?

Anyway, Penfifteentees is offering this fantastic shirt in honor of his accomplishment



Portland, Oregon: Where You Only Have to Be 18 To Enjoy A Sam Adams.

Post script…the now 21 year old (this happened a few years ago) has by far the BEST NAME EVER for a slutty intern…meet Mr. Beau Breedlove







Man, I couldn’t make this stuff up!

Looks like we’ve spotted one of the criminals responsible for this heinous crime:

Anna Godinas resident of Immokalee (if Tampa is the armpit, Immokalee is definitely Florida’s asshole) went on a beer run. Rather than the typical backwater parent who leaves their children home alone or locked in a car, this Mother of the Year candidate opted to leave her one, two, and five-year-old children standing in the rain outside of a gas station. But in order to one up all the fucked up parents in the state, Ms. Godinas was quoted by police as saying, “I don’t want them anymore anyway”.

What Roe said was that ending a pregnancy could be carried out by medical personnel, in a medically accepted setting, thus conferring on women, finally, the full rights of first-class citizens — and freeing their doctors to treat them as such.